I’m an optimist, I’m a fighter and I’m a problem solver. But when you are struck down with an incurable and largely untreatable illness, where no amount of fighting will make you better, and your future is so uncertain, what do you do? How do you stay true to yourself and not give up? How do you wake up each morning and continue to fight? How do you stay optimistic when there appears to be no hope of recovery? How do you solve your problems when even the most intelligent minds do not know the cause of your illness? How do you convince yourself that tomorrow will be a better day, just to give you the strength to continue, when each day is such a struggle? How do you accept the limited life you have now, compared to the limitless one you once had?
You take one day at a time. You choose your battles and let go of the ones that serve no purpose except to exhaust you. You celebrate even the smallest achievements. You laugh when you can and cry when you need to. You learn to accept what you cannot control and work your hardest to change what you can. You learn your limitations and you adapt, but that doesn’t mean giving up. You appreciate each day because your future is so uncertain. You learn to forgive yourself and others. You learn compassion. You fight to raise awareness and understanding. You never lose hope because some days that’s all you have.
Living with a chronic illness is bloody hard, but it makes you appreciate so much. It makes you appreciate your friends who have stuck by you even when you had given up on yourself. It makes you appreciate your family who love you no matter how many mistakes you make. It makes you appreciate your loving husband who didn’t sign up for this, who married an able bodied, happy and healthy woman, but still loves you just the same. You appreciate every smile and every happy moment. You appreciate life. Take care x
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Loved this post! It can be really tough to find meaning and hope when your life is a neverending struggle against pain. Great prespective 🙂
Thank you Sheryl.
I’m very thankful for the 12 step recovery principles that were in my life before I got sick. They’ve really helped me to navigate the emotional side of chronic illness.
Thank you for taking the time to comment Marya. Take care.
Everything you wrote is exactly what goes through my head just about everyday. I’ve had CKD all my life. Two transplants but was denied a third. At 57 yrs old dialysis is kicking my butt. Don’t know how long I can do this & loosing hope & strength a little each day. I ask God for strength to get through everyday. Thank you for posting.
I’m so sorry you are going through such a tough time Denise. I’m glad you have your faith to give you strength. Take care.